the very best therapist i’ve ever seen like personally and through online treatment …Betterhelp Emdr…so i was willing to wait that time for him this next con would be an individual experience of mine that my therapist when he did appear would in some cases appear like 10 or 15 minutes late with no caution without messaging me to let me know that he was gon na be late so that just annoyed me a little bit so there’s a tab for journaling and the journal entries are all blank they really have prompted entries now which you can also shuffle through if you want to use those instead and you could pick to share those journal entries with your therapist or just leave them
entering into a bit of my treatment journey and i thought that i had everything determined but kid was i incorrect um so let’s speak about it let’s enter into it so to begin i started therapy at a truly young age thankfully that was something that my mommy did not like hide from me or shelter me from she realized that i was going through like some psychological things when i was more youthful and i had some trouble um emotionally managing and difficulties with anger and simply a lot of various things going on when i was more youthful so my mama chose to put me in therapy i enjoyed my therapist as a person um she was black she had beautiful locks he drove a truly cool automobile however i as a child did not actually understand what therapy was i didn’t actually understand that this was the time where you might like tell all your company and i didn’t know if if the the train of communication was going to be um you understand going from my therapist to my mother or what that would look like so i didn’t truly um require to treatment along with i maybe might have when i was more youthful but that allowed for me to at least have that experience and to know even i didn’t you understand continue the program at the time however that allowed me to have the experience to understand that treatment was definitely a viable option if i began to have any problems in the future therefore fast forward about 15 years i understand that currently psychological health and treatment they are both things that are super um they’re they’re talked about a fair bit nowadays and i went to a physical at the medical professional and for the first time ever they had me do a um behavioral health examination and it was truly strange because i ‘d never had to do that before where they simulated a mental health evaluation so after they got done doing their assessment they were like oh you require to be in a program like yesterday and so they got me started in a program immediately and they um throughout that program or at the you know after that assessment and at the initial assessment throughout the program i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety i’ve always known that i have actually fought with those things throughout my
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life and i always understood that they appeared in truly devastating ways throughout my life but i never formally had a diagnosis that was in like my medical records or anything like that and so i that took place and so that was really that was an intriguing experience but i was really happy to have actually gone through that procedure and to formally understand that there was definitely something going on with my psychological health and full transparency side note i taped this video previously and it ended up being 39 minutes due to the fact that i was so irritated and mad so i started going on a rant hopefully this video will not be that long and i’m going to attempt to quickly go through my my therapy journey anyhow back to it so i began treatment and the breakdown of the expenditures were basically the the treatment appointments were 500 a piece total my medical insurance covered about 400 or two dollars and i was paying i had to pay about 100 expense for each session so it was supposed to be a 12-week program and in order to finish it in 12 weeks i had to have at least 2 to four um sessions per month and after that i also needed to have calls that they did behavioral assessment calls to follow up on the development of my treatment program so if we are doing our calculations right if we’re um doing our mathematicals properly um i should not have been shocked when i got a bill for 500 over 500. i should not have been surprised but my heart soul and everything dropped to the floor and came back into my body due to the fact that i was very surprised at the cost and it gave me the breakdown and i was like yeah i talked with her that day yeah they called me that day however i didn’t i actually didn’t expect for it to be as much as it was and so i already wasn’t feeling truly positive about the
therapy program not because anything was wrong with my therapist however due to the fact that i still seemed like my life remained in not always shambles however i was going through a lot personally and this was this year and so a great deal of you know i have actually already talked about the truth that i have actually gone through truly major life transition and i thought that therapy would aid with that um would assist you understand negate the the the ultimate you know the important things that happened however it did not and so um because i felt like things were still not going the manner in which i thought that they should i was like nah i i i can’t do treatment anymore particularly because of the ex the expenditure therefore i stopped seeing that therapist and so fast forward a couple months later i’m still realizing that i need assist like psychologically i’m going through downs and ups i am um going through those um you know i talked about this in the egotistical video however i’m going through those low and high state of mind swings i’m going through like all of these different things that i understood that i might not handle by myself so i was frantically searching for a therapist i was desperately looking for one and i kept running into wall after wall after wall Betterhelp Emdr
actually feel like she was taking notice of me and i actually prefer video therapy um over you understand texting or e-mail whatever i do not understand if they do therapy through email i don’t believe so but i really prefer video over anything therefore i did that in hopes that we would have the ability to develop off of what we had currently been kind of discussing and some of the concerns that we have actually been talking about therefore it did not end up being um it didn’t end up being what i wanted it to be she appeared to be actually distracted it was in my mind it resembled she was playing solitaire or something on her computer system like she never ever for like she would take a look at me every once in a while however most likely 97 of the time she was searching in another direction and that didn’t truly make me seem like i was injured or being listened to therefore she you know was also like on her phone and simply i do not know it simply was really unusual now better hope they they just utilize licensed therapists and so i had looked this uh looked her up because i simply wished to make sure whatever was legitimate and it was um however the um you know how they state you understand like bedside good manners like with doctors i didn’t um i don’t really understand what it would be phone side mentor video side way i do not know therapy side way heard manner didn’t work for me um and so like i said i i didn’t truly feel as if i the something that i wanted to do most like i said was a video alternative i didn’t really feel as if that was the strongest match of my therapist now we did have truly you know extensive conversation but um there existed were some times when i would say certain things and
she would respond with something that resembled extremely random or often she was you understand respond to what i stated or like i don’t understand it simply didn’t appear like she was very present um so i got a new therapist through the better health platform therefore when you are registering for a therapist you need to fill out like this survey and they appoint you to someone and so i submitted the survey again um and it you have to go into you understand well i went into depth on my circumstance and so that didn’t really feel great to have to go through that process all over once again um however i resembled whatever so that new therapist got assigned to me and after that she sent me a message that stated you actually must be trying to find somebody who concentrates on this i would motivate you to alter your company so then i needed to fill up out the um survey once again go through that whole trauma of filling it out again and after that i was assigned to another therapist so i uh my therapist and i were using the messaging function she wasn’t as responsive as my very first therapist but she still was responsive enough and so then i registered for a video for Betterhelp Emdr
It cost me 272 dollars and that was with the financial help um and the the one thing that i truly truly taken pleasure in about um better help was the truth that i might talk to my therapist at any point and so that’s what i began doing i was i was talking to my therapist non-stop through text message so we were texting back and forth talking to her non-stop um any any and everything that i was feeling i was talking with my therapist about it and um i decided that i wanted to do a video a video with her so i wanted to do a um a live the live video choice and so when i did that um the rapport and the chemistry and all of the things that i felt like we constructed simply wasn’t there and i didn’t.