the best therapist i have actually ever seen like face to face and through online treatment …Talkspace Live Ultimate Plan…so i wanted to wait that time for him this next con would be a personal experience of mine that my therapist when he did show up would often appear like 10 or 15 minutes late with no warning without messaging me to let me know that he was gon na be late so that just frustrated me a little bit so there’s a tab for journaling and the journal entries are all blank they actually have prompted entries now which you can also shuffle through if you wish to use those rather and you could pick to share those journal entries with your therapist or simply leave them
entering into a bit of my therapy journey and i believed that i had it all figured out but boy was i wrong um so let’s discuss it let’s get into it so to begin i started therapy at an actually young age fortunately that was something that my mother did not like conceal from me or shelter me from she understood that i was going through like some psychological things when i was younger and i had some difficulty um emotionally regulating and difficulties with anger and simply a bunch of different things going on when i was younger so my mama decided to put me in therapy i enjoyed my therapist as an individual um she was black she had lovely locks he drove a really cool cars and truck however i as a kid did not really comprehend what therapy was i didn’t really comprehend that this was the time where you might like talk your business and i didn’t understand if if the the train of interaction was going to be um you know going from my therapist to my mother or what that would appear like so i didn’t really um require to treatment along with i maybe might have when i was younger however that enabled me to at least have that experience and to know even i didn’t you understand continue the program at the time but that allowed me to have the experience to understand that therapy was definitely a practical alternative if i began to have any problems in the future and so fast forward about 15 years i know that presently mental health and treatment they are both things that are very um they’re they’re spoken about quite a bit nowadays and i went to a physical at the doctor and for the very first time ever they had me do a um behavioral health exam and it was really odd due to the fact that i ‘d never ever had to do that before where they did like a mental health assessment so after they got done doing their assessment they were like oh you need to be in a program like yesterday and so they got me started in a program right away and they um throughout that program or at the you know after that evaluation and at the initial evaluation throughout the program i was detected with anxiety and anxiety i’ve always known that i’ve dealt with those things throughout my
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life and i always understood that they appeared in actually ravaging ways throughout my life however i never ever officially had a medical diagnosis that was in like my medical records or anything like that therefore i that happened and so that was really that was a fascinating experience however i was really happy to have actually gone through that process and to formally understand that there was absolutely something happening with my psychological health and complete transparency side note i taped this video earlier and it wound up being 39 minutes since i was mad and so irritated so i started going on a tirade hopefully this video will not be that long and i’m going to try to quickly go through my my treatment journey anyhow back to it so i started therapy and the breakdown of the expenses were basically the the therapy appointments were 500 a piece total my medical insurance covered about 400 or two dollars and i was paying i needed to pay about 100 out of pocket for each session so it was supposed to be a 12-week program and in order to complete it in 12 weeks i had to have at least 2 to 4 um sessions each month and then i likewise had to have calls that they did behavioral evaluation contacts us to follow up on the progress of my treatment program so if we are doing our calculations right if we’re um doing our mathematicals properly um i shouldn’t have actually been shocked when i received a bill for 500 over 500. i shouldn’t have actually been surprised but my heart soul and everything dropped to the flooring and came back into my body due to the fact that i was incredibly shocked at the expenditure and it offered me the breakdown and i resembled yeah i talked to her that day yeah they called me that day however i didn’t i actually didn’t expect for it to be as much as it was therefore i currently wasn’t feeling really positive about the
therapy program not since anything was wrong with my therapist however since i still felt like my life remained in not always shambles but i was going through a lot personally and this was this year and so a lot of you know i’ve currently discussed the truth that i’ve gone through actually significant life transition and i thought that therapy would aid with that um would help you know negate the the the ultimate you understand the thing that occurred but it did not therefore um because i felt like things were still not going the manner in which i believed that they must i was like nah i i i can’t do treatment anymore specifically because of the ex the cost and so i stopped seeing that therapist and so fast forward a couple months later on i’m still understanding that i need help like psychologically i’m going through downs and ups i am um going through those um you understand i talked about this in the narcissistic video but i’m going through those low and high state of mind swings i’m going through like all of these various things that i understood that i could not deal with by myself so i was desperately looking for a therapist i was desperately searching for one and i kept facing wall after wall after wall Talkspace Live Ultimate Plan
really seem like she was taking notice of me and i in fact choose video treatment um over you understand texting or e-mail whatever i don’t understand if they do therapy through e-mail i do not believe so but i really choose video over anything therefore i did that in hopes that we would have the ability to develop off of what we had actually currently been kind of speaking about and a few of the issues that we have actually been going over and so it did not turn out to be um it didn’t end up being what i desired it to be she seemed to be actually distracted it was in my mind it was like she was playing solitaire or something on her computer like she never ever for like she would take a look at me every now and then however most likely 97 of the time she was searching in another instructions and that didn’t really make me feel like i was injured or being listened to and so she you know was also like on her phone and simply i don’t understand it just was actually unusual now better hope they they only use licensed therapists therefore i had actually looked this uh looked her up since i just wanted to make certain whatever was legit and it was um but the um you understand how they state you know like bedside good manners like with doctors i didn’t um i don’t really understand what it would be phone side coach video side way i do not know therapy side manner heard manner didn’t work for me um therefore like i stated i i didn’t really feel as if i the something that i wanted to do most like i stated was a video option i didn’t truly feel as if that was the strongest fit of my therapist now we did have actually you know in-depth discussion but um there existed were long times when i would state certain things and
she would react with something that resembled very random or sometimes she was you know respond to what i said or like i don’t understand it simply didn’t seem like she was super present um so i got a brand-new therapist through the much better health platform therefore when you are registering for a therapist you have to fill out like this questionnaire and they appoint you to someone and so i filled out the survey once again um and it you need to go into you understand well i went into depth on my circumstance and so that didn’t truly feel excellent to have to go through that procedure all over again um however i was like whatever so that brand-new therapist got designated to me and after that she sent me a message that said you actually need to be looking for somebody who focuses on this i would encourage you to alter your company so then i had to fill up out the um questionnaire again go through that whole trauma of filling it out again and after that i was appointed to another therapist so i uh my therapist and i were utilizing the messaging function she wasn’t as responsive as my very first therapist but she still was responsive enough therefore then i signed up for a video for Talkspace Live Ultimate Plan
so it cost me 272 dollars which was with the financial aid um and the the one thing that i really actually enjoyed about um much better assistance was the fact that i could talk with my therapist at any point and so that’s what i started doing i was i was speaking with my therapist non-stop through text message so we were texting backward and forward talking to her non-stop um any any and everything that i was feeling i was talking with my therapist about it and um i decided that i wished to do a video a video with her so i wished to do a um a live the live video choice therefore when i did that um the chemistry and the rapport and all of the things that i felt like we built just wasn’t there and i didn’t.